POLITIKA!
I couldn't just trash this. Plus, there's the politicartoon, as well.
Hi! Since Satyranny is not running, enjoy this thoughtful, albeit ill-spaced, commentary. Warning: It has doody references.
Let us reflect on the American election. ...Done! <rant> Now let's move on to more interesting things. Like yogurt. The hottest debate recently is really not who botched what in Florida. It's the Yogurt vs. Gogurt(tm) issue that has many people nauseas. Not really the conflict, just Gogurt(tm) in general. For those of you blessed enough to not know, Gogurt(tm) is basically regular old yogurt in a tube. Possibly a good innovation, since you cut out the spoon. This is tainted, however, by the fact that yogurt is bacterial vomit and Gogurt(tm) is apparantly reported to be bacterial vomit cultured from lizard shit. And, since iguanas have a high salmonella content in their refuse, Gogurt(tm) was first marketed as a post-Vietnam conflict liquid nerve gas. This is especially evident in their ad campaign that was and remains to be the marketing field's embodiment of inner ear spasms. But, no, we're not biased here. It is reported that some people actually both survive and enjoy Gogurt(tm) without any major medical procedures. Then again, some people who base their voting decisions on the whims of Barbara Streisand, sacrificed hens, and their pet monkey Marmy happen to emerge out of the polls without once being struck dead by lightening. Not that my feelings on Miss Streisand are what you would call reserved, but I have every respect for her as a person. Stop laughing. I just hold this truth to be self-evident: Stardom does not a political analyst make. KTAR, a local Phoenix area news radio channel, and their correspondent Eric Lieberman (no relation, I think) had this discussion with Miss Streisand (hereunto affectionately referred to as "Barb"):
Lieberman: "With all due respect, Ms. Streisand, your resume says you're a singer and an actress. I fail to see how this qualifies you to say who would best lead this country."
Barb: "I'm an American citizen. I'm a voter."
Lieberman: "Oh... that was deep." (Producer has heart failure here.)
Besides, I think Americans are losing sight of why this election is truly important. The thing that supercedes all this who-would-be-laughed-at-least-by-foreign-leaders brouhaha. The thing that really affects our childrens' future... Bringing the Ba down to an acceptable size. At least one Baldwin (Alec, I believe) has stated he will leave the country if Bush is elected. This, it is suspected, almost cost Gore the state of California. There's something like 200 Baldwins to every 5 young, impressionable movie-goers (I believe biologists have named a rabbit after the Baldwin family- a blue-eyed rabbit that actually migrates toward cameras upward of 10 miles away). It's just wrong. Very, very wrong. And it's breeding.</rant> Um...vote Yogurt!
Politika Cartoons!
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All images, text, and material (c)2000 Dan Nicholls, 'Gunz! Pub. Please credit accordingly.